morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I stole so many things from the ER last night.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
