P.S. I can't hear my feet
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Are my feet made of real feet?
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
