You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
Randomize
