Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Randomize
