I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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