Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i've created a new STD.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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