He disabled his match.com account in front of me
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
