he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
