Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
