He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Why is the turtle in the toilet again?
Well as I was puking in the tub I put him in there to keep me company but I am almost positive the original setup was him in the tub and me next to the toilet...I hope he likes tequila
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