He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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