I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
