how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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