Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
