you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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