i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize
