Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
i believe in u and ur pee
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Randomize
