I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
