so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
