they need to just BURY HIM!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Randomize
