Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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