If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
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