no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
The amount of effort it's taking me to not shit my pants this morning is probably a sign to slow down the drinking
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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