She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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