I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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