I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
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