So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
either way he was missing a nipple.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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