nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
