Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
