FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
