I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Randomize
