I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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