He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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