i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
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