ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
