I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
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