break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
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