oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
