talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
Dude, this chick, who is smokin by the way, has 4 false teeth on top from a softball accident that she can take out if she wants... Who's getting amazing head tonight? This guy!
I don't know whether to be creeped out by the fact this chick can do that, or jealous because you're getting toothless head.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy�
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
