i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
