ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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