Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Say hello to your nephew Sir Isaac Meriwether van Catsworth
I'm going to have to start taking your phone after ten. That's when all the cat pictures come
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
