if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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