its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
Randomize
