Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
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