We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
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