So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
