Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
she said she didn't want to sleep with me again because I wasnt a generous lover. I ignored her slight moustache, didnt i? i think thats pretty damn generous
Don't worry. I has chaperone.
organizing the empties. That sober.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
