One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
