I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
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